Do you think the slightly misogynistic, over-the-top rants make me a sexier man? Because I sure as fuck feel like they do!

If the Chinese destroy the world this year, and I learn how to become a leopard, then I want you to know that I had a prescient dream about it.

I look forward to getting old… so that i can be a dirty old man, sit on my stoop with my viagra boner and make pervy comments at hot girls.

I made such a good cappuccino today. It’s so awesome it’s giving me a handy!

yes. i love sluts. sluts, skanks and fuckwhores. we need some more of them.