Boss: You had a failure yesterday. me: probably

That gives me the 90 seconds I need and the 28.5 minutes she needs.

Are you amazevag today? Are you Amish?

He says as he angrily types that to me on his new fucking keyboard.

Me: OMG tell me something distracting before I lose my mind. boss: My shirt is see throug.

Rumors lead to innuendo leads to sexting leads to threesomes on the boat.