Random and Ridiculous Shit My Boss Says

inside the mind of an over the top CEO, curated by a sometimes horrified but always entertained Executive Assistant

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me: why are you spelling that out for me like I’m a retard

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

boss: it’s ri-tard

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  • relationship advice

spellmurder

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

boss: i tried to get my witch aunt to spellmurder her me: you should just gunmurder her boss: I almost spell murdered her and then when she was dying i…

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  • random exclamations

fergie is the hottest ugly girl on the planet

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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  • in the office

we should have a twerking competition.

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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  • in the office

on inbox management

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

i like being in the box. it’s addicitive. it’s my happy place. so…warm

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  • in the office

you’re on lunch duty today

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

me: hungry for anything in particular? boss: just attention from underdressed females.

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  • tech & the internet

oh sorry, I was looking at ass.

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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  • random exclamations

if i walked down the street, i want bitches to dive bomb me like that

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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  • logical explanations

on sincerity

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

a BJ add sincerity to everything. it’s like salt or pepper. things are bland without it.

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  • logical explanations

on the bro code

  • Posted on August 14, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

if it doesn’t go in someone’s mouth, you put it in their eye. it’s bro code. it’s in the bible.

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