Random and Ridiculous Shit My Boss Says

inside the mind of an over the top CEO, curated by a sometimes horrified but always entertained Executive Assistant

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an impossible task

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

Make sure I’m not a fucking ass.

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Older women

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

I told her that she is the only girl older than me that I want to bang.

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Self praise

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

I was impressed with myself for coming up with that, so I emailed it to myself.

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They fucking melted a cow

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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  • in the office

Having a bad day

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

When you are having a bad day, technology problems are a bit like putting salt infused deadly jelly fish fire ant vinegar all over your emotional wounds. And, having One…

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I’m feeling less like a whiney bitch

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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I’m just being a sensitive flower

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind
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  • in the office

Highfives

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

I want to go around slapping people on the ass.

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Lack of appreciation

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

If you don’t write on the blog today, I will hate you forever, and sneak allergens into your food, and do everything i can to make you fat.

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I just can’t

  • Posted on October 15, 2017
  • by thomaslascind

Do you want me to come smack you, or t-Rex you, or any other action that is aggressive?

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